Would it be really awful of me to have a “dry” wedding?
Would it be really awful of me to have a “dry” wedding? meaning no alcohol.
I’m not even engaged yet I have always just thought if we do get married I would have a dry wedding because his brother is an alcoholic & my step mum is just an awful drunk (she says horrible things & sometimes wets herself)
I just think the only way we could have a nice day is to make sure no alcohol would be involved. I don’t drink at all & my partner rarely does anyway.
What do you think? Would the etiquette be for this, would I need to inform people in advance or just let them find out at the reception? (just curious)
lol melanieg a 10am wedding wouldn’t stop his brother..I have been to his house at 7am & he has been drunk already…In fact I don’t think he ever really sobers up.
June 6th, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Go for it,I did.Put it on the invites.
June 6th, 2010 at 12:02 pm
No, but it’s kind of tradition to have champagne.
June 6th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
alcohol doesnt always have to equate with fun. people can have fun without it and if they cant. dont invite them
June 6th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
No, I like the idea. when i get married i’ll probably do the same thing. you might want to warn everyone so that no one brings anything.
June 6th, 2010 at 1:15 pm
excellent to make it a dry wedding.
June 6th, 2010 at 1:30 pm
No, its your wedding. You should be entitled to do anything you want as long as you and your partner are paying for it.
June 6th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Hey – it’s your wedding. If you want no alcohol, go for it. I’ve been to a Muslim wedding before, so obviously no alcohol. Had just as much fun as at any other wedding, and remembered far more of it too.
June 6th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
well u should inform them in advance…so there not in for a shock!
June 6th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
no way! it’s your day so you get to do what you want
i would probably just have a champagne toast, and that’s it
June 6th, 2010 at 4:30 pm
youll cross that bridge when you get there. u said so yourself your not even engaged yet.
June 6th, 2010 at 4:56 pm
your guests should be there for you, not the booze. i wouldn’t worry about telling your guests before hand
June 6th, 2010 at 5:05 pm
It you and your fiances day, so if you feel that would be the best bet, then I would suggest going with your first thought.
If you do decide to have a bar I would tell the bartenders to slip those people non alcoholic beverages and I would sit down and have a heart to heart with those people about not drinking or keeping it to a minimum at your wedding
June 6th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Hm, I never thought of that before but i’m sure people do it, I think you should let them know in the invitation, put something like, this is a family event, no alcohol will be served. I’m sure nobody’s going to make a big deal out of it, i mean their really there to see a wedding, they can go to the bar to drink if it means that much to them.
June 6th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
I would personally encourage it. However, it depends on the people you plan to invite. I know of someone who recently got married and everyone was allowed to have a certain number of drinks before they were cut off. However, the only way to do that is if you are paying for the booze, otherwise it looks a bit strange.
However, a warning on the invites is always a good option to warn people ahead of time. Many people like to ‘party hard’ at these events, but if they have a heads up they’ll know what to expect and will be happier because of the warning.
June 6th, 2010 at 6:06 pm
There are plenty of wedding venues that don’t allow alcohol. Choose one of those, and then you don’t really have to worry about the etiquette side.
June 6th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
all the weddings i have been to have been dry. depending on where you hold the wedding could determine if alcohol can be served. such as certain churches don’t condone drinking and therefore no alcohol. however if you don’t want it around you now is the time to let everyone know.
June 6th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
people should go to your wedding to support you not get plastered off their asses. on your day you call all the shots (or you should) so if you dont want your day ruined by idiots, go dry. i would let them fid out at the reception. its not mandatory to supply boose to your guest, and if they are prepared that alcohol may not be available they may get sauced beforehand.
June 6th, 2010 at 7:55 pm
No, wouldn’t be awful.
After reading an earlier post about the bride and groom being legal responsible because a drunk guest got into an accident after the wedding, it might just be a great option to have a dry reception.
I wouldn’t put it on the invitations or inform people in any way if you are having a dry reception. A reception doesn’t automatically mean free drinks. People are coming their to celebrate with you – whether with alcholol or not.
June 6th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
My brother and his wife had a dry wedding and it went very well. It depends on your family though. It is your wedding and don’t want family making fools of themselves then don’t have an open bar. My sister in law and brother had an early morning wedding like at ten in the morning.
June 6th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Not at all. This is your wedding, and your special night. You obviously have specific reasons as to why you wouldn’t want alcohol at the wedding. If you believe it would cause disruption during your wedding, then make it ‘dry’! Wedding etiquette does not include having alcohol. Thats the bride and groom’s personal choice. If any guest has a problem with that, than their obviously at your wedding for the wrong reasons. I suppose you could inform people, so that it would prevent any chance of someone buying it themselves and bringing it to your reception. Remember the wedding is specifically focused on you and your partners wedlock. I’m sure your guests who do consume ‘spirits’ and such could wait a day and night without it.
June 6th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
My cousin had a dry wedding and as long as the food and entertainment is great i don’t think anyone would be the wiser. Hope he ask soon congrats when he does
June 6th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
I don’t think that having a dry wedding is a bad thing. We actually considered this, since neither of us drink and we also have alcoholism in our family. The only reason we didn’t was that the venue that we fell in love with, we needed to have a bar.
There are a few ways you could get around the awkwardness of a dry wedding. It could be in the afternoon instead of the evening. One suggestion that I heard on another board was having a coffee bar instead of an alcoholic bar. Get everyone buzzed on caffeine instead. A great way to let your guest know about your wedding is through a wedding website, that would be a good place to let people know that there will be no alcohol. You don’t have to explain yourself or give reasons, just say that it will be a dry wedding. Anyone who might not come just because there is no alcohol is probably someone you wouldn’t want there anyway (if they were drinking that is). So be brave and strong and do what you want. You have good reasons and etiquette and what other people think should not get in the way.
June 6th, 2010 at 11:43 pm
there’s a lot of venues that are owned by a church & they won’t allow alcohol anyways
so i think its not that bad
besides your guests are not going to get drunk they are going to share that special day with you & your hubby
so don’t worry
if anything just state in the invitations that no alcohol will be served & that no alcohol will be permitted inside the venue
June 7th, 2010 at 12:33 am
Your reception is your reception and with the family history the guests should not be offended. I would just put a little note on the reception card that says it is your wish to have an alcohol free evening and that the reception will not have a bar. If you want you could include a list of bars in the area so after the reception if guests still wanted to go out they know what is available.
June 7th, 2010 at 12:36 am
i think its a great idea! i would probably do that too, my boyfriends family has a history of alcoholics too and it would be a disaster. if you didn’t do a dry wedding at least don’t make it an open bar. im a waitress at a wedding venue and i definitely notice people don’t drink as much when they have to buy the alcohol.
June 7th, 2010 at 1:21 am
I have been to countless dry weddings and everyone had a great time. If someone can’t enjoy themselves for any period of time without alcohol, then they have issues that they need to resolve on their own time.
Proper etiquette says you don’t inform anyone beforehand. Your guests are there to accept your gracious hospitality. If that means you don’t serve alcohol, then so be it. If they get pissed off and decide to leave because you don’t have alcohol, it only makes them look bad.
It sounds like a dry wedding would be the best route for you since your stepmom and brother in law cannot control themselves around alcohol.
My sister had a dry wedding and no one said anything bad about it. She doesn’t usually drink so she wouldn’t miss it anyway and her husband is a recovering alcoholic. While he is able to control himself around it, it’s better to not have it around. Alot of their guests do drink but were more than willing and able to go several hours out of their lives without a drop of alcohol and everyone talked about how much fun it was and that they didn’t even miss the alcohol.
That said, there are people who ridicule everything and want people to be miserable with them. That includes the idea that you must have alcohol to have a good time, while many people prove that it isn’t true. Do what works best for you and ignore the naysayers.
June 7th, 2010 at 2:02 am
I think it’s perfectly acceptable. No, you don’t need to put it on the invites.
June 7th, 2010 at 2:02 am
As far as I’m concerned, alcohol isn’t a prerequisite to a celebration or even just having fun. It is not a requirement that you announce that it will be a dry event. Just keep in mind that some people may bring their own alcohol regardless. One thing you may want to do, just in case, is enlist the help of a couple trusted friends and family members to escort out anyone who threatens to cause a scene by poor behavior. It wouldn’t matter if it offends the guest who’s escorted out because the event is not all about that person. It would be your wedding and you deserve to have a good time without having your guests ruin it for you.
June 7th, 2010 at 2:09 am
It’s up to you. I had no alcohol at my wedding, most of my friends did the same thing.
June 7th, 2010 at 2:45 am
It wouldn’t be awful, but many people like to enjoy a drink at the wedding. Think of it this way: would you take meat off your menu because one person was a vegetarian? Not having alcohol at weddings sometimes encourages people to bring their own, which can often end up even worse because they are outside by their cars drinking. If his brother is truly an alcoholic, it is likely that he might bring his own anyway.
That being said, it is your wedding, and no one is entitled to having alcohol. If you really see it being a problem, don’t have it.
June 7th, 2010 at 3:03 am
It’s your wedding you can do what ever you want!!!! But, I would make it known on the wedding invites that there is no alcoholic beverages to be served at the wedding or to be brought into the wedding anyone who consumes alcohol or brings it in etc..Will be asked to leave the reception!!!
June 7th, 2010 at 3:03 am
I had a dry wedding reception and then went out for drinks later in the night. It was perfect because no one we didn’t want drinking was there. and reception was drama free!
June 7th, 2010 at 3:48 am
There is no problem at all with having a dry wedding. this is not even unusual. and no, you don’t have to forwarn anybody. just don’t serve.
June 7th, 2010 at 4:20 am
That is not awful at all. It is YOUR day and should exactly what you want. My husband and I had a wedding with no alcohol and it was just fine. We do not drink and his family doesn’t drink, but mine does. To my knowledge no one was offended or put off because we didn’t provide alcohol. Those decisions should be left up to the bride and groom. Congrats and I hope you have an amazing wedding!
June 7th, 2010 at 4:46 am
I would def inform people. Be prepared for people to decline your invite too. I hate to be harsh but its true. A lot of people will not come to a dry wedding. To be honest, I think its an insult to the guests when one family member cannot get their act together for a night so that everyone else can enjoy themselves. Esp as the guests spend so much money, time and effort on the couple.
Also be prepared for people to leave early…even before the cake is cut. While alcohol shouldnt be an excuse to get wasted, it can def help loosen people up and I can assure you, if I didnt have a glass of wine, I would never dance at a wedding. I would sit there and be bored. Like I was at the last dry wedding I went to. I left at 9 45- it was scheduled to end at 11 30.
Keep that in mind.
Also, I would put the wedding plans on hold until you are actually engaged. A little weird to be asking these ?s if you arent even engaged…just saying…
Good Luck on your ” engagement’?
June 7th, 2010 at 5:31 am
It’s a wonderful idea if it will help out the people that have a drinking problem. Temptation is too strong when alcohol is around. It will probably ruin the day for everyone once someone with a problem gets 1 drink into them.
You do not need to drink to be happy.
If you really feel the need for tradition, get sparkling cider.
June 7th, 2010 at 5:43 am
I have several alcoholics in both my family and my fiances.
We are having a completely dry wedding this summer.
It just felt like a good idea to us, we wanted to avoid as much drama as we could.
I highly suggest doing so if you have people who would ruin your day if they were drinking.